1. |
Useless Friends
03:07
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I went west. There was nothing here
to quell my aching chest.
I wanted sunshine and
a thousand perfect girls.
I need medicine, a cure
for my acrimony, before
I drown in a sea of useless friends.
Everything that could go wrong,
it already happened.
Getting out took so long, I wasn’t sure it’d happen.
You called me up for one last ride,
the black in your arms,
blood in your eyes.
You were never good at being mean.
You never thought it’d be the last you’d see of me.
So, what did you see,
when you drove out by the field where they found me?
Just dirt
and your overwhelming grief
She needs medicine, a cure
for her loneliness,
before she drowns in a day that never ends.
Everything that could go wrong,
it already happened.
Falling apart took so long that it’s almost laughable.
She took a ride and climbed that rock,
the blood in her eyes,
blood in her socks.
She went to church that Sunday.
It was the only way she could ever get rid of me.
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2. |
High in the Morning
03:04
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I used to be able
to get high in the morning.
All these things have changed
but I don’t feel that different.
You’re getting tired of me
and my doomsday anxiety.
It’s getting old, this feeling
that I’m losing my sanity.
I know this night’s not the end,
but maybe someday soon it should be.
For now, let’s just act happy.
So we can feel loved and a little less lonely.
It’s been the better part of 10 years and
I still don’t know where its going.
So how can you act so surprised,
like you never saw it coming?
Well I’ve never been good
at knowing what I want,
but I could perform exegesis
on why everything you want’s so wrong.
“You’re just like me” she said
“and someday soon you’ll realize
you wasted all your time and all you did
was prove them right”
I know this night’s not the end,
but maybe someday soon it should be.
For now, let’s just act happy.
So we can feel loved and a little less lonely.
It’s been the better part of 10 years and
I still don’t know where it’s going.
So how can you act so surprised,
like you never saw it coming?
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3. |
Half Life
03:29
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At divinity,
it’s where you set the mark.
And through that peculiar lens,
no one could measure up to
your pure heart.
I can’t be satisfied
with the kind of life you give.
I’d rather go terrified, alone,
blowing curses in the wind.
You don’t believe me when
I say that I don’t believe in this.
How’d you earn your place?
How’d your love get so twisted?
I can’t be satisfied
with the kind of life you give.
I’d rather go terrified, alone,
blowing curses in the wind.
credits
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4. |
Stay Asleep
02:49
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Broken words
and bloody fits
go hand in hand
with the loneliness
that breeds inside
this house where we both live.
Dream girl
in a field of heather,
your wild affections
taste much better
than waking up with sunshine on my skin.
If you heard me
when I was talking in my sleep,
I was dreaming and I never
want to leave.
I never want to leave.
Crazy man
with the painted boots,
he broke his skin
off at the tooth.
The only one that never made me move.
Screaming death
with a blood signed letter
that I was the one
that could make things better,
when we both know it’s just not true.
If you heard me
when I was talking in my sleep,
I was dreaming and I never
want to leave.
I never want to leave.
If I just stay asleep
then you can never leave.
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5. |
Losing Side
04:44
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So what’d I do this time,
what’d I do?
To feed your ire, baby,
to earn my blues?
Your sun dress splayed
on the back of that car seat,
the one with the cigarette burns.
The summer you told me
that you would learn to love me
I know now
that love is never earned.
It’s like you never even tried.
You got confused
and you got mixed up in their lies.
Now I see
it has been here the whole time.
I never thought that
love would be the losing side.
So what are they showing us?
What do we see?
There’s just no room here
for people like you,
people like me.
Everybody’s telling me
there’s nothing to worry about.
The day that they rounded us all up
the day before you found out.
It’s like you never even tried.
You got confused
and you got mixed up in their lies.
Now I see
it has been here the whole time.
I never thought that
love would be the losing side.
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6. |
Come Tomorrow
02:44
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Come tomorrow,
I’ll be on my way to the coast,
alone.
Trying to figure out
what you couldn’t do on your own.
You didn’t want to die
five miles from your birth.
All you wanted,
what you’d never known before.
Just to feel that sun in January,
and hear the beach bums catcall
the pretty girls in their bikinis.
Just to feel those crashing August waves.
Sink your feet in the Pacific,
let your old life wash away.
I threw my car in reverse,
backed away
from the only home I’ve known.
Heading west to put my eyes on
all the places that you never got to go.
I refuse to die
five miles from my birth.
All I want
is what I’ve never known before.
I wanna feel that sun in January.
and hear the beach bums catcall
the pretty girls in their bikinis.
Just to feel those crashing August waves
Sink my feet in the Pacific,
let your memory wash away.
Sink my feet in the Pacific,
let your memory wash away.
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7. |
Coffee Mug
02:45
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I feel sick,
I close my eyes and ball my fists.
I’ll probably bail
on all my good friends tonight.
They won’t be surprised.
If I got out,
I’m stone drunk and full of doubt.
I’ve never found a better way
to get through this.
I get nervous at their voices,
in the lights.
I think it’s gonna show in me tonight.
I never really liked this competition,
it shocks my nerves,
it hurts under my skin.
I go home,
I drink water from my coffee mug, alone.
I give it another try.
I dig in
to those books you said to read.
You were always so much smarter than me.
That girl that’s next to me,
I wanna taste.
I know that I should just go home
and hang out alone.
It’s not a simple lust
for younger bodies,
its’s a feeling
that I’ve lost something
in mine.
Some nights
are just a futile use of time.
So much locked inside of this,
so much we’ll never get right.
Some days it hurts to quit,
some days it even hurts to try.
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8. |
In Our Blood
04:07
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The phone rings early: she says, “it’s been so long, baby.” “Are you still living the same place?” Can she swing through and bother me? I open the door at 8:03. I sit on the couch where we drank for three years. Does it still feel the same way? What about the summer that I came up, when I got sick on your parents porch? You got me arrested that night, and then I didn’t see you anymore until that summer that you came down, when I rushed you to the hospital. My brother really thought that you were sick. Like me, he never really understood any of this. I’ve been trying for years to make that part of myself disappear. Been trying to get on track, but I guess some things you lose, you never get back. I’ve been trying for years, to make sure that you finally disappear, but you keep coming up and saying something about our blood. You keep saying it’s in our blood.
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9. |
Nothing Waiting
04:20
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Johnny drank like Francis Phelan.
He just spent time with all these ghosts
of folks that never loved him.
Then he’d talk of trying out again, he’d
“Wake up, get a job, and then get back to feeling human.”
Sally cracked and now she’s crumbling.
She never really went out on a limb
for anything.
They told her life was predetermined.
Now she’s terrified of it playing out
in ways she never wanted.
Eric always had that burden
of wanting to die instead of wake up
every morning.
A gun in the mouth, it won’t make anything,
Just a cleanup, and a funeral,
and friends unanswered questions.
So just remember:
some days, it all caves in
and nothing’s gonna get better.
You keep on screaming
“This is all we get, and there is nothing waiting.”
Johnny drank like Francis Phelan.
He just spent time with all these ghosts
of folks that never loved him.
Then he’d talk of trying out again, he’d
“Wake up, get a job, and then get back to feeling human.”
So just remember:
some days, it all caves in
and nothing’s gonna get better.
You keep on screaming
“This is all we get, and there is nothing waiting at the end.”
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